A specific type of oatmeal cookie is stalking me. I used to have them in grade school. In high school we had them fresh from the "oven" (microwave)... and now they've popped up at work. They are these big round oatmeal cookies that are actually quite tasty.

I happened to read the ingredients listed on the back of the saran wrap it is carefully packaged in: Blah, blah, sugar, blah, blah, artificial scent.

Artificial scent? Did it smell like shit before they made it smell like sugar and oats?

I pointed this out the my friend from work and she said "I've never seen artificial scent before."

Of course I couldn't let that go without my usual sarcastic remark that starts with the words "of" and "course": "Of course you haven't seen artificial scent... it's SCENT. You smell it."

"Oh you know what I mean, Splinter, I haven't seen it on any packages."

Meanwhile this new guy over yonder is laughing his ass off at my lame sarcasm. Either he has a crush on me and everything I say is funny, or he's got a weird sense of humour... kind of like mine.

Ha. Ha. Hmm.

So that brought me to this wonderment... If they have artificial scent, artificial touch(massagers), artificial sound(duh... music), and artificial sight(paintings and the like)...

do they have artificial ESP?

Okay now I'm just being silly.

I'm going to go sleep artificially now.